


Too Much (Not Enough)

by Ann_Onymous



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-30
Updated: 2013-07-30
Packaged: 2017-12-21 20:15:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/904441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ann_Onymous/pseuds/Ann_Onymous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It gets worse.” Anna said in a whisp of red hair.</p>
<p>Castiel isn’t sure of himself. He was never supposed to know. He isn’t supposed to feel. It’s confusing. It’s distracting. It’s suffocating. </p>
<p>It’s too much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Much (Not Enough)

Castiel stares. Dean looks away. Castiel frowns.  
  
Too _intense._  
Too _intimate._  
  
 _What’s happening?_ He asks himself. _Did I do something wrong?_ The angel muses. The bond is stronger. Cas feels it pulsing, vibrating. _Anxiety?_ No _._ He frowns deeper. Is it coming from Dean? No—It’s from hi—no, it’s  both. _Is it?_

Feelings.

Emotions.

_“It gets worse.”_ Anna said in a whisp of red hair.

Castiel isn’t sure of himself. He was never supposed to know. He isn’t supposed to _feel._ It’s confusing. It’s distracting. It’s suffocating. It’s **_too much_**.

His eyes search for Dean’s once more.

_It’s too much but— **No.** It still isn’t enough. (It’s not enough.)_

He inhales deeply. His chest feels constricted _(it’s heavy)._ He can smell old book covers with its old yellowed pages, he can smell salt, he can smell the musty air of a coming rain. But most importantly, he can smell _Dean_.

It should have a calming effect on him.

Dean is here.

Dean is _safe_.

Dean is **_alive_**.

But he only gets more _… what is the word¿_   
He doesn’t know. He isn’t supposed to.

Fleeting green falls on him for a small half of a second. It’s fast. One would have missed it. But Castiel _does not_.

The fleeting glimpse of green is _enough_ for something ( _what is it?_ ) inside him to flutter warmly.

“Cas…” He feels. He _feels_ as the words leave the hunter’s mouth. He feels the vibrations of his vocal chords around his name. The word, his name, warm in the air.   
Dean’s voice is a little rougher, deeper around the syllable. 

Castiel is aware. Too aware, but it’s focused. It’s directed sharp to the single point in the room that holds it all together (his attention, his senses), and he can’t help but feel like a moth, attracted to the flame.

_(He’ll be the death of you one day)_

A second is suddenly too _slow_ and too **_fast_** at once for him. And in an instant, Dean is speaking again.

“Personal space.” The words are followed by Dean’s adam’s apple bobbing up and down, it’s move entrancing to Castiel. He looks away, realizing the hunter’s words and how close the distance between them was.   
  
(Too _close. Too close. **It’snotenoughyet**_ )

“Sorry.” He glances away, down, right, left. Trying to focus on anything. Anything but Dean. It surprises him that he _can’t._ His eyes found Dean’s once again and this time he doesn’t  let them go away from his.

It’s only when Dean’s eyes lose focus for a slight second, pupils dilating and a hollow thud is heard that he notices he has a hand holding Dean’s chin, the hunter’s back against the wall.

His own eyes blurry his heartbeat suddenly pounding hard against his chest and ears, breath picking up silently and when he focus again he sees pink soft lips slightly open instead of green.  
Unconsciously he licks his bottom lip, smoothing the texture. He feels Dean’s stuttered breath against his lips. _Warm_. ( _Pulsing. Pleading_. _Close._ **_Closer._** )

And all of sudden **_it’s gone._**

Castiel steps away. And _vanishes_. Teleporting to the farthest place he can imagine, but still on Earth.  
 ** _  
It’s too much._**

**_It’s too soon._ **

**Author's Note:**

> If you read it until here, congratulations! I never tried writing something like this before, but it suddenly came in my head, and I had to write it, I tried to capture what I saw, that's why it's so awkward to read it. I hope you liked it though! I am thinking in writing a sequel to it, I don't want to leave it ending so abruptly... Well, what you guys think? :)
> 
> Oh, and please, review if you saw any glaring mistakes. English isn't my mother tongue!
> 
> Love you, guys! ;*


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